At one point, I come to a station where a dog is lounging but he doesn’t like my look & lunges up to take a bite out of my arm, just stopping short as I scream. That startled both of us, whoa it was loud. Thank goodness for all those voice lessons!! His owners scold him but it’s after the fact. Gees Louise, I was thanking my Angels & apologizing for all the times I fussed at them. I also put in a personal thank you to the dog’s Angels too. Everybody was workin’ overtime!
I gaspingly make it back up the mountain to the village, put the cell up to my ear—A SIGNAL! & I dial with huge anxiety. NANDOO ANSWERS, don’t know what the heck he’s saying & he probably didn’t understand everything I said either. Actually he probably didn’t understand a damn thing I said but he got that I needed him to come NOW! So glad that I at least had the wherewithal to ask for his number BEFORE we parted, I was close to bawlin’ when he showed up but I chose to suck it up. As we head back, immediately I see that I had gotten lost as soon as I left the place, veering off to the left & downhill when I needed to go left & UP hill. Sigh.
The Next Day--Reflection
I spent 6 hours sitting on the chilly deck all wrapped up, staring into the fog while the torrents of rain tumbled endlessly. I was leaving early the next morning, but at the moment I searched the fog as if all the answers to my life were enclosed there. We are always led, prodded, guided, & sometimes kicked to where we need to be or in the direction to go. The constant challenge is to recognize & heed the signs. Sometimes they’re big, red, bold & yell GO THIS WAY KID! Sometimes they’re very small & whisper “this way darlin” & I was trying so very hard to hear my whispers. I realized I needed to be in India at this point in my life, with all the displeasures, discomforts, disappointments, distatefulnesses, [yes, I’m making up a word here & I’m stickin’ to it!] unpleasant surprises, inconveniences, frustrations, & anger. I needed to learn acceptance & how to go with the flow more [gees Bird, couldn’t you have found an easier way to learn those lessons???!!!!]—even if I thought I’d already learned these things, there were deeper layers in which to travel still.
In an earlier post I talked about Sim, one of the wonderful teacher/dancers I had the pleasure to work with & a new friend. One day we got to talking about things metaphysical & she mentioned owning many books written by Paulo Coelho & loaned me a few. I had wanted to read The Alchemist for years but at the time she couldn’t locate her copy. Well when I arrived at this house I took a look at their books & guess what title I saw first out of all the books piled up? That’s right, the one & the same, The Alchemist. Now my friend was underwhelmed when she read the book, perhaps it wasn’t timely for her journey or maybe it really just sucked as far as she was concerned. Since I make up my own mind, I sat curled up with the book so between taking turns reading & gazing at the rain, I realized the book was VERY timely for my journey. But at about 4:00, the fog began to lift & I was torn between going all the way downhill to the market to exercise the Shopping Monster or to continue to read. After dealing with a 10 hour trip followed by non-stop rain only to clear at the end of each day; getting lost & almost getting bitten; a noisy house replete with spouses, children & workmen banging, I realized that instead of being pissed off beyond Pissed-offdom, I was waxing poetic in my head! & quite Buddha-like. Wow, deep.
So I sat & pondered my choices, what's a girl to do? Walk 20 minutes to internet connectivity, something I hungered for these 6 long weeks, or go sit in front of a large TV right in the living room & find out what the heck was going on in the world or, go to Mall Road at the bottom of the hill with who knows what goodies I’d never find anywhere else quite possibly or, sit & finish The Alchemist which I swear the man wrote about me but just changed the character’s name & sex to protect the privacy of the real people (me of course, & the other players in my Life’s episodes. Yeah, right).
I continued to sit & contemplate Life, realizing that many things we deem important just aren’t. This had been an extraordinary day, high in the Himalayan Mountains, watching the fog roll in & out & I didn’t need to go to the market to exercise the Shopping Monster, nor to sit in front of the large TV in the living room that would connect me to world events & that I could forgo the 20 minute walk uphill to the internet cafe, electing to stay on that chilly half-finished deck curled up in a blanket scented with mildew with an excellent cup of Chai that followed a fantastic repast of Chapati, chicken & potatoes while finishing the excellent tome entitled The Alchemist. Serenity came back to sit with me holding MY hand this time & She brought Bliss with her.
